Many women find it difficult to take the first step – especially for particularly attractive men. We’ve all dreamed of being a big, mysterious femme fatale with endless legs and glamor, especially when we’re looking for the courage to talk to the sweet guy on the other side of the room.
That women always have to take the passive role and are addressed instead of becoming active themselves is something of yesterday. Right here we want to start: If you prefer to play the unreachable, this decision is up to you. Nowadays, it is no longer enough just to sit still and wait for something to happen. It’s finally time to take it in hand Ladies!
Today, it is entirely up to you to speak to a person, to tell her that you are interested, or ask her for her number. We understand that the idea of approaching a man and starting a conversation can be daunting at first. We know how that is. As a little tip: Men can be just as nervous as you are!
Here are a few helpful tips and tricks that will help you become more successful in flirting and data than you are. You can apply any of these advices (or even a combination of them) anytime, anywhere – be it in a bar, a cafe, online or even out in the street. There’s always a way to take the initiative and get it started – while still remaining elegant and stylish.
Men are human too – they too may be too timid or anxious to talk to you. With these casual start-ups, you’ll increase your chances of success and the prospect of his mobile number enormously!
- Tip 1: “Hi, how was your day so far?”
- Tip 2: “I could really need your help right now”
- Tip 3: “Cool shirt, where did you buy that?”
- Bonus Tip: Make eye contact, smile and wave it to you as soon as you feel safe
- Tip 4: “Sorry but I just noticed that …”
- Tip 5: “I feel safe with you”
- In which situations does the response work?
Tip 1: “Hi, how was your day so far?”
Dear women, let’s face it. The real reason why you have not been very successful so far is one (or both) of the following: 1. You do not go out very often. 2. If you go out you are missing out on taking your chance and really speaking to someone. The same goes for online dating. If you like someone you do not write him. With this behavior, you have little chance of changing anything about your current situation.
We should first start with the obvious things. Just start. Go to the man you like and ask him how he is doing. Men are actually a little easier to approach and to convince than women. Most will respond politely and tell you one thing or another about yourself. Then you can introduce yourself very easily and follow up on his answer again. Take the following conversation as an example:
“Hi, how are you?”
“I’m fine, I had a nice day. How about you?”
“Hi, I’m Cynthia and you are?”
“So Tobi, what happened today that your day went so well?”
Although this interview entry is so obvious, you’ll be shocked how many people forget the simplest of ways when it comes to getting into conversation. Especially when flirting, many people are very reserved. It can take quite a bit of effort to address someone, but always remember that we are all careful and vulnerable when talking to a stranger.
First build a good base for a casual conversation. Ask him for very obvious things, such as his background or job. Show that you are listening and interested. In the end you will certainly exchange your contact information.
Tip 2: “I could really need your help right now”
Benjamin Franklin said one “If you want someone to be your friend, let him do you a favor”.
One of the best ways to talk to a man is to ask him a favor. When a woman asks for help in a simple matter, she will lure out his primal instincts to protect and care for her. Men love to play the hero. If you give them the opportunity, they will quickly jump on it and be happy to “help” you. Your conversation could be as follows:
“Hey, can I ask you for a favor, can you hold my jacket for a moment while I bring the drinks over, unfortunately I do not have a hand free.”
The answer is usually “Okay.” ring.
When you’re done, you can come back and say, ” Thank you, that was really nice of you, how are you and what are you doing here, are you here with friends too ? “
With this transition, you automatically engage him in conversation. But why does this technique promise you a 100% success rate? He’ll think that everything started from him – even though it was your idea. You have chosen him. This is like the modern variant of dropping a white handkerchief. You have created exactly this scenario where he has to help you.
Tip 3: “Cool shirt, where did you buy that?”
Women are known to be very detail-loving. While men only see the color “green”, women call it “jade”, “mint” or “emerald green”. Women are watching much more, especially when it comes to men. If she sees a guy with shoes of a certain brand, she will automatically draw conclusions about his personality – all for his shoes. Use this power of observation for your own benefit!
It does not necessarily have to be the shoes or the shirt. Take a closer look. Is a spell or logo of a band on its top? Which brands does he wear? Does his perfume smell good? Does he wear glasses?
These observations are your starting point for a conversation with him later. To continue the example of before, we will again dedicate his shirt. If he wears a shirt with the logo of a band, you can ask him where he bought it or say that you also like the band (of course only if you know them). If he wears the logo of his university on the pullover, you can ask him about his experiences in this university or his study program.
That really gets the conversation rolling. If you manage to create such a connection between you, it makes sense that he, too, finds you good. Even men can feel flattered!
Bonus Tip: Make eye contact, smile and wave it to you as soon as you feel safe
Ronan Keating has made it to the point, “You say it best when you say nothing at all”. Sometimes the best temper is simply not to have a claim. We’ll explain why.
Men are often just as reserved as women. If they get the green light from you they will stick to it. If they are not sure or do not receive any signal from you, they will not do that. Just think differently: Men indirectly ask for permission to speak to you. It is true that women are much harder to impress than men. To protect themselves, men first check the signals you send them, be it your body language or something you have already said. So they play it safe, whether a flirtation could be successful or not.
Consider your own dating behavior metaphorically as fire. You would never say, “Okay, give me the lighter first, then I’ll give you the wood.” It will not work like that. You must first supply the fuel – or in this case a signal to ignite the fire.
Do not be so mean with your own interests. If you show men in advance that you are interested, you will certainly get their attention. Let’s say you are in a club. Make eye contact. Smile and say “hi.” If you’re brave enough, you can wave it over to you. Point to the place next to you. If he’s curious (and he’ll definitely be), he’ll be standing next to you in a few seconds.
When it comes to online dating, write him a message or just an emoji. The decisive factor is to make it clear to him that you really want to hear something from him. Talking or writing with you is fine. Men want to feel welcome. Let the man know that you can have fun with you. Send him a message so that he also has the chance to respond.
Tip 4: “Sorry but I just noticed that …”
Let’s repeat it again: Observations, no matter how simple they are, can be the key to a conversation with a man. Women have an advantage here because they are more detail-oriented. Start with your immediate environment and comment on it. Go a step further and comment on something you’ve been watching him. Your comments can be simple, short and concise. You definitely do not have to play the Sherlock Holmes. Look at the following example – you see a cute guy standing on the street next to his bike:
“Wow, I saw your bike, what model is that?”
He will tell you immediately about his bike – which he is certainly quite proud of. If you’ve gotten a real motorcycle fanatic, he’ll explain every little thing and the peculiarity of it. Then you can direct the conversation in the following direction:
“By the way, I’m Sarah, and what’s your name?”
“I am Jan.”
“Nice to meet you, Jan. What brings you here?
If he continues to explain his situation, you can try to find common ground between the two of you. This will keep the conversation going and build a relationship between you.
“Sounds really interesting, I have a friend who does exactly the same thing, you know what, we should exchange our numbers, I really want to know more about you.”
If you arrive at the point where you ask him for his number, your confident, friendly nature will surely impress him. Men are rejected more often than we are. So when you say what you want directly, men will be more receptive to your message.
Tip 5: “I feel safe with you”
This temper is different than its predecessors, since you probably would not say this sentence to me anything to any x-any type. Our first four examples were conversation introductions. But this one? This phrase can be used with the man you are already familiar with. We’ve included him in this list to show you that you can positively influence the relationship with your current date with such a spell.
The spell is aimed directly at his male instincts. Men want to be needed. If you tell him that you feel safe with him, he will feel honored and confirmed. He has achieved one of the main male goals – to weigh his wife to safety.
This saying is one of our favorites, because even if you refer to his protector instinct that does not mean that you are desperate or dependent. You are a strong woman who just feels a little safer and comfortable in his presence.
All of this is related to the human psyche. If you compliment a person, it is very likely that she will pay for that praise. This applies to both sexes. If you recognize his positive qualities and qualities, he will make more effort to be exactly the man you would like to have.
In which situations does the response work?
In real life
Be it in a café, a bar, in the supermarket, on the street or in the library: there are thousands of sweet guys just waiting to be approached by someone like you. You will probably find it unpleasant to take the first step. The thing is, men are often twice as nervous about approaching women than you are. Each of them has already cashed one or the other basket, so alone THAT you address him can be quite a big deal for him.
It is an outdated rule that men always have to take the first step. Take control. Be self-confident and your own luck blacksmith.
New media and technologies are shaping the way we interact with each other today. We have countless apps for chatting, emailing and phoning – Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, various dating apps and many more. Much of the world’s population now moves in the digital space. We are stuck to all our devices and “smart” gadgets.
This not only makes communication faster, but also many times easier. It has become so common for us to be exposed to thousands of daily news and news that the Internet has become platform number one to meet new people and, last but not least, data.
You just type a few words on your smartphone, press send and voilá – you reach with one click many people at once. Although technology would make it so easy for us, we often prevent ourselves from using it wisely.
Instead of sitting on hot coals and waiting for his intiative you should ask yourself the question: Why not take the matter in your own hands? What have you got to lose? You do not have to rely on an old-fashioned etiquette or think you’d make a bad impression by turning the role model “upside down”. As you have already experienced, good observation is the essential thing. Look what he reveals about himself in his profile. Get to know him better and use our tips listed above.
Addressing a man online rather than in real life can be a bit easier due to the available distance.
Dear women, do not worry too much when it comes to taking the first step towards a man – even if you are afraid of not being good enough. We have these feelings to protect ourselves and, above all, to be vulnerable in the face of talking to a stranger. To reveal ourselves can be extremely intimidating.
But let’s be honest: A self-confident woman always has a good chance of getting positive feedback from a man. Male instincts are the key to this: They are looking for positive signals from you and want to be sure that they are not without a chance. If they can not detect any reactions or signals, it is very likely that they will not even try.
No matter what your friends or the media tell you, it’s perfectly alright to talk to a man by yourself. With a nice smile, confidence and a positive charisma, you can impress him without having to bother. You do not have to be a supermodel or look like Angelina Jolie. Believe us, you are perfect the way you are.