The Friendzone – a new phenomenon?
Even if it may feel like this, you are certainly not the only one who has unrequited feelings for one of her friends – or in short is trapped in his friendzone. Many of us are dealing with this situation, and not just in this day and age – it has done so for generations. Although many relationships arise from a friendship, we can not change the fact that there are many cases where feelings are unfortunately never reciprocated.
Most of the time it starts with finding a good friend who enjoys spending time with you, talking about everything and treating you well. This is how it works for several months or even years.
Suddenly he confronts you with a phrase that shows you what you are like with him: “I really like you so much, you’re like a sister to me” – and everything changes. It suddenly becomes clear to you what is going on right here: You are in the Friendzone!
Do not worry, your love story does not have to end before it starts. It’s up to you to change things – we’ll help you!
Caution: 6 signs that you landed in Friendzone
If your buddy has not called you “best friend” or his “little sister,” you’re probably very unsure whether he’s feeling anything for you or just being nice to you. A proper self-diagnosis is very difficult in this case, because everything he does for you is automatically something special for you – especially if you have already developed feelings for him. Before you jump to conclusions, look at the following signs and find out if you are already in the Friendzone:
1. He has a not so sweet nickname for you
Nothing screams for “You’re my best friend” as a pet name, which has already been stamped. If he calls you his “buddy,” introduces you as “just a girlfriend,” or even uses masculine terms like “digga,” that’s a very clear sign. He probably means it seriously when he says that you are just buddies.
Unlike women, men do not talk about complicated codes that need to be decrypted. More often than you think, they just mean what they say. So if he sees nothing more than a friendship between you, he’ll teach you that as well.
2. You go together to groups “dates”
For you, the thing is very clear: If he takes you to a meal with his friends or you sit next to him, when you’re in the movies with his boys, you really mean something to him. But if these are the only activities you do together, then you should not put your expectations too high.
If he really has feelings for you, he wants to spend time with you – best alone. If he has never tried to arrange such a meeting, you are probably just a normal friend for him.
3. He keeps telling you about other women
You’ve probably already heard about all the hot women he currently dates. Unfortunately, it’s not what you think – he certainly does not want to make you jealous. He just feels comfortable in your presence and can tell you about such stories just as he does his male friends. At most, you can surmise that the spark between you will jump when he adds you to his “Hot Women List”.
4. Your conversations have never been offensive
If there’s a sexual tension between you, that’s a good sign that your boyfriend likes you more than just “friendly.” If he has never written anything suggestive, never complimented you or stayed away from him at all times, it could be a clear sign that he only sees you as a good friend.
5. He keeps you waiting
This note should be more than clear to you. If you write to him and he needs several hours (or even days!) To answer you, then it must be clear to you that he has no interest. Do not try to talk nicely and explain yourself excuses like “He’s just going to have a lot around his ears”. If a man is too busy to sign up, he’s probably unwilling to give you the attention and time you deserve.
6. HE HAS A FRIEND
No further explanation is needed here. He is forgiven! If not you but someone else is his girlfriend, you are definitely deep in his friendzone.
Typical mistakes that bring you into the friendzone
There are many reasons why men push women into their frenzy. Here are some typical facts that make you look like a normal friend to him.
1. You do not make an effort to be attractive to him
Okay – you feel well in his presence. Unfortunately, this is not a valid excuse to skip your normal beauty routine or not to put on a nice outfit for him. Unfortunately, superficiality is still a big issue and men in particular are very visual beings. They notice when a woman makes an effort for her and therefore pay more attention to her than to someone who completely ignores optical stimuli.
Of course, that does not mean that you have to have a haircut every time before you meet. A cute outfit and some make-up should be enough.
2. You behave like his buddies
If you have been friends with a man for some time and he has not taken the initiative, he probably already considers you “one of his buddies”. You just so familiar with him that you behave like all his other friends too. In that case, this will be a given occasion for him to see and treat you as such.
A perfect example of this are jokes and little jokes. Many women are eager to get closer to their friend with such teasing comments. But just this behavior can only let you slip deeper into his friendzone. Of course, such a casual approach can contribute to building a more intimate relationship. Too many jokes will only give you a place on his list of women he does not want to seriously date.
3. You are too demanding and pushy
You should not want to force anything if you really like a guy. Men want to conquer a woman and also see a certain challenge in it. You should not be too intrusive, so he does not label you as “easy to have” and thus does not build interest in you.
4. You are just not his type
Unfortunately, this case can occur in many friendships, and that is certainly not your fault. If you are not his type, you will have to accept this in the long run and have to look ahead.
5 tips on how to escape the Friendzone
No panic! You have just realized that you have landed with him in the Friendzone. But that does not mean that the situation is hopeless. It does not matter how long you’ve been in love with your best friend, you can still manage to turn the tide and have the romantic relationship you always wanted with him. How do you do that? Just follow these simple tips to say good-bye to the Friendzone once and for all:
1. Expand your circle of friends
Take the time to meet new people, preferably male, of course. Meet new friends and tell them about the fun activities you are doing with them now. That could make him a little jealous and make him understand that you are not dependent on him. If you manage to make that kind of competition, it will give you the ambition to get more time and attention on your part.
2. Remember something “mysterious”
You should not seem like an open book – you better keep something “puzzling”. Let’s be honest: men like it just as much as we women do. Give your “friendship” a little extra kick and behave differently from time to time. Not every little thing in your life should be reported to him immediately. Make him curious and let him earn the right to know everything about you first.
3. Ask him for his help
Make him feel that he is needed by you. Ask him for help with any minor repairs or renovations. Why not just turn the tide instead of just doing things for him? Studies have shown that people are more likely to like you when they please you. You have to make it possible for him to invest his time and effort in you.
4. Tell him the truth
To confess your feelings to him before him could be the hardest way out of all. It requires a lot of courage, but at the same time it is certainly the most effective because you will receive an answer from him. You should be prepared for every possible reaction and therefore be prepared for the worst, in order to be able to respond carefully in the situation.
5. Stop behaving like a simple friend
If your goal is clearly “boyfriend,” then you should stop behaving like “any friend.” That means: not too many friendly jokes and teasing, no more nicknames (like “Bro”) and more effort in terms of your appearance when you meet. Find out how you can slowly change your view of yourself – and improve it too. This will change the dynamics in your friendship and give it a whole new direction.
He has no interest – what now?
Rejection is never easy.
All your efforts, the time you invested in him and the affection you cherished for him seem to have been in vain, because he simply does not reciprocate your feelings. You’ve tried everything, followed and tried all our tips and he still sees you as one of his girlfriends. You think that means the end? Read on and we’ll show you that’s not the case.
It is perfectly okay and understandable that you are hurt – but do not blame yourself for that. Accept the fact that plans do not always work out as you imagined. Look ahead. This sounds like a trite saying, but other mothers have beautiful sons.
One day you will surely find the right one. Rejection on its part is a clear signal that you should throw your romantic fantasies overboard. Your focus should now only be on yourself. It’s hard to look up and accept your refusal – but it will be a lot easier if you know how to handle it. We’ve put together a list that will help you with this process:
1. Stop pretending that nothing had happened
Your heart has been broken. It’s okay to admit that and to vent his grief and anger. Eat, eat and do whatever it takes to get rid of the pain. Examine your emotions instead of eating and suppressing them. Give yourself the time to heal this wound again.
2. Get advice from a friend
You do not have to go through this alone. Talk to a friend about how you are. This person can give you emotional support and show you his / her view of things. Looking at it from a different angle will help you deal with it better.
3. Stay for the time being at a distance
You have agreed to still be friends? Nevertheless, you should first gain some distance. If your friend really cares about you and understands your situation, he will allow it. To recover from the shock, taking a break is very advisable. That may be very hard at first – but it’s worth it.
4. Focus on yourself
After you have accepted his rejection, the next important step is to take care of yourself for the time being. Try new activities, find a new hobby or go on a journey. This will quickly increase your well-being.
5. Be optimistic – give love another chance!
Those who were in love and injured were often afraid to start a new attempt with a new person. You do not have to be afraid to fall in love again! Do not miss the chance of new flirts and meet interesting people. Be aware of your own value. You are wonderful, that’s why you will find a new man who loves you and gives you what you deserve.